God With Us

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us” (Matthew 1:23 (NKJV).

“Well, it’s that time again,” thought Sean to himself. The morning was grey and overcast with mist hanging in the air. As he peeked out the window he could tell that the day was just plain cold and wet.

“Why do I always do this,” Sean asked himself as he put on his coat. Every year since becoming a teenager, he always waited until the last day to go Christmas shopping. This year was no different except that there were fewer gifts to buy. For one thing, the money just wasn’t available this year. He had to take on a second job just to keep up with the expenses. It just seems like the cost of everything nowadays was so much higher. The other reason for fewer gifts was that there were fewer family members to buy for this year.

Last spring, Renee’s father had passed away. In September, Renee had a miscarriage of their first child. To top it off, her mother decided it would be better to spend the Christmas holiday with her family in Texas. The rest of Renee’s family, who didn’t live in Texas, decided to go with her. Sean and Renee couldn’t afford to do that. Renee’s mom insisted that no gifts were to be exchanged between Renee and her this year. She knew money was tight and it just didn’t make any sense to waste it on her since she wouldn’t be around anyway.

Renee cried for days after her mother informed her of this decision. Just like she cried when the baby died, and just like she did when her father died. She told Sean she never felt so lonely in her entire life. Sean told her he understood but he really didn’t have a clue what Renee was going through. So we’re not going to see your mother for a week or two. You’ll see her when she gets back, is what Sean wanted to say but knew better, so he kept his mouth shut.

As Sean drove away from his house heading for the local mall, the rain began to descend in earnest along with a sour mood. Soon the roadway was drenched and traffic slowed to a crawl. The stress in Sean’s life was getting to him. “Why did I wait to do this!?” he screamed at himself as he searched for a station on the radio that didn’t play that blasted Christmas music. For two months that’s all he heard and he didn’t want it any more. In fact, he never wanted it. It just comes every year and is played in every shop, store, office and home so one can’t get away from it. And last night at church was the last straw. How could they mix Santa Claus songs with baby Jesus songs? It just wasn’t right!

With the heavy traffic and the unrelenting rain, along with Sean’s sour mood, finding a parking space was the last thing he wanted to deal with. Who invented this holiday anyway? Sean muttered to himself. He should be shot!

Sean knew that he had crossed a line with that thought so he took a deep breath to calm himself down some. He figured there would be no parking spaces toward the front of the mall, but he couldn’t believe even in the outer portions of the lot, there were no spaces available. As he drove around and around and around, his temper flared up again.

I only have a few dollars to buy anything anyway! I just want to find a stinking parking place so I can join all the stinking shoppers in that stinking mall to buy some stinking gifts that I don’t want to buy so that we can have somewhat of a stinking Christmas!! Is that too much to ask for!?

With that last thought, Sean saw a space open up and he headed for it. But just before he got there another car pulled in, almost clipping Sean’s car in the process. Grrrrrrr! Sean just sat there glaring at the driver. He was tempted to honk his car horn. Someone behind him beat him to it, and when Sean looked in his rear view mirror to see who was honking his horn at him, he saw a red-faced man, waving his hand for him to move on.

That was it! Sean hit his accelerator and peeled away. As he fishtailed through the soggy rows of parked cars, he screamed out in frustration! Sean headed for the exit. He was breathing heavy and he could feel the beating of his heart pounding so heard that it seemed to be trying to jump out of his chest. His vision was blurry. He didn’t know if that was from the weather or his heavy breathing, but he didn’t care. In fact, Sean just didn’t care anymore about anything.

When he got to the parking lot exit, he hurried quickly into the oncoming traffic on the street. He heard car horns as he maneuvered around the heavy traffic to get away from the mall. As he worked his way through the slow moving congestion, he saw out of the corner of his eye, a coffee house that he liked to frequent. With no warning or signal, Sean cranked the steering wheel, moving over to the left turn lane, and turned his car in front of oncoming traffic, on a red light no less, without once slowing down. He just ignored the blaring car horns.

Parking here was not a whole lot better, but Sean finally found a spot on the far end of the lot. When he opened the door to leave his car, his first step included a wet puddle. There was a pothole hidden by the rain, right where he had to step out of his car. Sean looked down at his foot and growled.

Inside the coffee shop, Sean found an empty booth, which was the only luck he’d had all day. The restaurant was mostly full, even though the hour of day would make it a late breakfast or an early lunch. Sean ordered coffee, and when it came he decided to make it a late breakfast. But Sean really wasn’t all that hungry. His breathing was just now slowing down to just above normal. The pounding in his chest was also slowly going away. He glanced outside the window and watched the downpour of rain soak everyone and everything in sight. Is Christmas worth all this?

The coffee warmed up Sean’s body to the point he could take off his coat. When breakfast did come, he hadn’t realized that he truly was hungry after all. He attacked his food and was surprised how quickly he finished it. As he took the last bite of his pancakes, he noticed, out of the corner of his eye, two words. Each was hanging on the wall of the restaurant as part of the Christmas decorations.

Noel and Immanuel.

Sean knew that Noel meant Christmas or birthday. He believed that the only time one ever even heard the word used was at Christmas time. He has seen the word used endlessly in Christmas cards and songs. It made sense that he would see it on the wall of the restaurant the day before Christmas.

Immanuel. That means God with us. Sean knew that because one of the actors in the play at church last night read Matthew 1:23 which gave the translation of the word. Sean thought the passage was a quote from Isaiah.

God with us. That’s what Christmas was supposed to be all about, wasn’t it? Christmas is not about driving in the pouring rain on Christmas Eve, fighting for a parking space at a faceless shopping mall, was it? Spending money, that he didn’t have in the first place, on gifts that will probably be returned or recycled?

Sean thought to himself, “My family doesn’t even believe in God let alone Christ. But they want me there at the house every Christmas day.”

God with us. What does that mean? Sure, Jesus was born thousands of years ago in a manger in Bethlehem. But he’s gone now, right? Where is God with us now? Where was he when Renee’s father got sick all-of-a-sudden and died? Where was he when they cut back his hours at work so he had to get a second job just to survive? Where was he when the car needed new tires but there was no money to buy them? Where was he when Renee had her miscarriage? Where!?

God with us.

Sean didn’t know if it was someone in the restaurant or a voice in his head, but he heard it as clear as anything.

God with you.

God with me? Are you kidding me? I don’t think so. Sean reached for the ticket the server had left on the table.

God with you, Sean.

Sean was having trouble seeing the ticket he had in his hand. His vision was getting blurry again.

I’m with you, Sean.

God, how are you with me? My world is out of control! Heck, the whole world is out of control and has been for some time. I can’t buy what I want to get for Renee. I can’t give her our baby back. I am so tired of working and working and not getting ahead! I can’t even find a stupid parking space, and when I do, there is a pothole waiting for me!

Sean, the Father and I love you so very much that I came to be with you; yes, once as a baby, but now through my Holy Spirit. Sean, I will never leave you nor forsake you. Though you may be faithless, I will always be faithful. I am with you for all eternity.

Now Sean couldn’t see at all. The tears were flowing beyond his control. I’ve been such a fool.

People in other booths started to notice the young man by the window sobbing. It took awhile before Sean could control himself as he fought back the tears. There was an uncomfortable silence in the restaurant until the server came over to Sean and put her hand on his shoulder. Sean’s head was lowered but he could tell whose hand was there.

“Sir? I know how it is sometimes. You just need to let yourself have a good cry. God knows I do it all the time.” Customers in the restaurant chuckled at that. Some even said out loud, “Heard that!” or “Yeah, been there.”

“What did you say?” Sean looked up now into his server’s face. She was in her late forties or early fifties with blond hair and kind eyes.

“Go ahead and cry all you want. No one’s going to stop you. We’ve all been there.”

“No. You said something about God knowing?” Sean’s tears were still flowing but the sobbing had subsided.

The server looked straight through Sean’s eyes, right into his heart and replied, “God knows you. God is always with you. Like the decoration over there on the wall, Immanuel, God with us.”

Sean, without thinking, looked over at the wall and saw the word Immanuel as if for the first time. Others in the coffee shop also looked over. Many smiled nodding their heads in agreement.

“Don’t you worry about this, dear. This meals on me.”

Before Sean could reply she had turned away with his meal ticket in hand. How did she get that without me knowing? Sean tried to say thank you but the sound of chairs being moved and people getting up from their tables drowned out his words. It seemed that over half the customers in the restaurant were all leaving at once.

Sean felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. An elderly woman handed him a twenty-dollar bill and said “Merry Christmas. God is with you.”

Sean tried to get up and return the money to her, but another hand was on him, keeping him from getting up. “Merry Christmas, son. Immanuel.” More money was being dropped on the table where he sat.

“Wait. No.” But people weren’t listening. “You don’t understand.” Sean tried to get up and explain that he wasn’t asking for any money. “That’s okay, son. God has put this on our hearts. You don’t need to worry about it.” People kept coming over to him. They wouldn’t listen to his objections. Almost all of them said Immanuel or God is with you.

Sean was in shock as he left the restaurant. He couldn’t believe what just happened. All he wanted was just to know that God was with him. He never expected the gifts on top of hearing God speak to him.

When Sean got back to his car, he was now ready to face the same shopping mall he couldn’t face an hour ago. His attitude had changed. But more than that, Sean was changed. He left the coffee shop knowing that God was, indeed, with him.
Currently on disability, Brian has been a pastor since graduating from San Diego Christian College in 1986 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies. In 1994, Brian earned a graduate level paralegal degree from the University of San Diego. Since 1984, he has been very active in the AWANA clubs serving as a commander, pastor and missionary advisory board member. Brian has worked on pastoral staffs of churches in Colorado and southern California. In 1997 he began a church in his home which currently meets in its own building located in Desert Hot Springs, California. Brian and his wife, Beth, who he met in college, currently live in the Palm Springs, CA area. They have two grown children.

Brian Whiteside has served the Lord and the Church as a pastor, teacher and conference speaker for around 30 years, preaching and teaching God’s Word to all ages. He is the author of two books (The Discipling Church and 2002 Bike Odyssey, My O Canada to Ole Mexico Border to Border Bike Trip) and has written numerous articles for Christian publications. He has been very active in AWANA ministries serving as a commander, pastor and missionary advisory board member. He is currently a co-host on the Alive in Christ radio network.

Does Church Equal Discipleship?

Do Church Services Equal Discipleship?

In reviewing survey reports done by various research organizations (i.e. Barna Group, Pew Forum, LifeWay Research, etc.) about how discipleship is done in churches in the United States, I’ve discovered one clear fact: most churches equate worship services and Bible study groups to discipleship. In doing so, they may have inadvertently modified Jesus’ Great Commission in Matthew 28:19-20 to read, “Go therefore and make CHURCH MEMBERS of all the nations, . . .”

And the reason also seems to be pretty clear: attendance numbers seem to be the true goal of most churches. Not just overall church attendance numbers, but numbers seem to be the focus on church committees and boards, and in the many church programs offered each week.

For example, I currently attend a church with a very modest attendance of around 50-60 each week. The church attendance has doubled in the last six months or so. Likewise with Wednesday evening Bible Study. The numbers continue to grow as the weeks go on. Each week the pastor and long-time members of the church are practically giddy about the increase in the number of new attendees. However, there are few church ministries outside of Sunday morning worship or the Wednesday evening Bible study. Not to say that more are not planned or desired, but as of this date, there are few.

But moreover, there is no distinct life-long discipleship process or mentoring program at the church. I’ve noticed the pastor has geared his messages to good discipleship lessons, but that could be said for most sermons or Bible study lessons. What is missing is an intentional program to disciple believers in Jesus Christ. The pastor would say that he is hoping that one day this will happen but for now his “discipleship” ministry is preaching/teaching twice a week.

He is not alone. Before attending this church I attended a local “mega-church.” Ironically, the pastor of my current church used to work at this mega-church. This church has three Sunday morning worship services that include separate services for children and teenagers. During the non-summer months, a Sunday evening service and a few home Bible study groups are provided. There are no mid-week programs. However, during the summer, a family style dinner is provided on Wednesday evenings.

What is missing? That’s right, there are no intentional discipleship programs going on. This is a church with thousands of people attending each week and yet the Great Commission is being completely ignored.

This is not unusual to just the two churches I’ve recently attended.

In late 2008, the Assembly of God (“AG”) denomination commissioned LifeWay Research to conduct a survey to shed light on the current state of discipleship in AG churches.[1] According to the AG Discipleship/Church Ministries Division, “discipleship is a top priority of the Fellowship.”[2] However, they were concerned about how the local churches were performing their role in this crucial area.

Out of the 12,000 churches that received the survey, only about twenty percent responded. Although the lack of responses is discouraging, there was something to be learned from those who did respond. And again, numbers are what the AG was focused on. In fact, the AG was quite pleased that the report shows that “56 percent of AG churches have a five-year average worship attendance growth of 10 percent or more.”[3]

But when it came to discipleship, the bad news was just that, bad. Although the following results are from the AG survey, I am not picking on the AG. I believe these results would be no different for most denominations in this country:

Less than 35% of the responding pastors reported an active involvement of 60% or more of their people in Christian Education or small group discipleship ministries.

Only 45% of AG churches regularly evaluate the progress and spiritual growth of their members.

Only 35% of AG pastors are satisfied with the state of discipleship within their church. Of that number 28% are only somewhat satisfied.

Only 17% of AG churches offer an adult mentoring program.

AG pastors consider the following the most important discipleship ministry offered to adults in their churches:

Sunday School                        33%

Pastor led teaching time          31%

Small groups                           21%

Other                                         6%

Mentoring program                   3%

AG pastors consider the following are their most important meeting times for discipleship ministries

Sunday morning                      46%

Wednesday evening                26%

Other                                       18%

Sunday evening                      10%

What these numbers tell us is that most pastors believe discipleship is not done primarily outside the weekly church services. Again, I am not trying to pick on Assembly of God churches. I’m just illustrating the mindset of pastors in this country about what discipleship is to them. Clearly it is different from what the Bible teaches.

The good news is that the AG is not taking these results lying down. Indeed, their initial response to the report was to “release several new resources that will better equip churches to disciple believers of all ages. These include: 360-degree discipleship, a handbook for maturing believers; a Spiritual Health Planner, to develop a plan of personally discipleship growth; Small group resources for children and adults to increase understanding of the cardinal doctrines and fundamentals.”[4]

I applaud the Assembly of God for these actions, but what will it take for pastors in the US to understand what Biblical discipleship is? I remember it being taught in Bible college. Was my college the only one teaching it? I’d hate to think so. I call all pastors to take this information to heart and act upon it. I call on all non-pastors to meet with their pastors, in love, and plead for a Biblical discipleship program in your church. There is more to this Christian life than 60 minutes a week.

“Go therefore and make DISCIPLES of all the nations, . . .”

Conversations in Heaven

Sean and Renee just got home from church. As Sean was setting the table for supper, Renee thought about the morning’s sermon and remarked, “Wouldn’t it have been cool to live in the days of Daniel? Or Moses, even? Imagine seeing God work His miracles in person!”

“You mean being taken from your home as a prince and then dragged as a slave to a pagan land where everyone hates you?” responded Sean.

Sean ducked to avoid the carrots thrown by Renee. “You know what I mean. Imagine standing in a lion’s den with an angel from God standing there with you keeping the lions from eating you. Or being with Moses as he stood at the edge of the Red Sea as it pulls apart and the whole nation of Israel walks on dry land. Man, I can’t wait to get to heaven to ask them what it was like.”

Sean thought to himself for awhile as Renee put plates down on the table. But after they prayed over their meal, he could not bring himself to eat yet. He just kept thinking about what Renee had said. “How do you think the conversation would go?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Sean began. “There we are sitting across the table from David, Daniel, Moses and Elijah in heaven and you say what?”

“Kay. Sure. Hey David, what was it like to stand in front of a giant knowing that you were going to lop his head off and no one else believed you could do it?”

“I’ll pretend to be David,” Sean says. “Thanks for asking Renee. It was cool. But tell me something. What was it like to have the Holy Spirit living in you every day, keeping you strong when you thought you couldn’t go on?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, I saw God work a few miracles here and there but you got to see His Spirit work in you all the time. What was that like?”

“Well, uh, you know.” Renee was a bit flustered but didn’t want Sean to win this game. “I think I’ll talk with Daniel if you don’t mind. Hey Danny, tell what was like to have those crazy dreams about the future and to speak with angels about it?”

Sean was up to the challenge. “In a word: freaky. But tell me, with the Holy Spirit of God living in you, what was it like when He spoke to you? What was it like to understand the Bible as you read it as He guided you through His word every time you picked it up?”

“OK Dan. Are you telling me you didn’t understand what God was telling you when He gave you those dreams?”

“Not always. And even when He sent Michael to help me understand I had trouble sleeping at night.”

Renee wanted to interview someone else. These conversations just weren’t going the way she thought they would.

“Hey, I’ll see what Moses and Elijah have to say. So Elijah, it must have been pretty amazing calling down fire from heaven showing up those prophets of Baal. And what about raising that kid from the dead? You saw God do some pretty cool stuff.”

“Well, you know. Fire from heaven was pretty hot. And you know that boy raised from the dead? He died again. But tell me what it was like on earth for you having the Holy Spirit burn within your heart? Or what was it like when you felt depressed and He was there to help you get over it? What was it like to have God live within you?”

Renee had one more shot. “Hey Moses. Tell me what it was like to see and follow that cloud by day and fire by night. Tell me about meeting God on the mountain and hearing His voice boom as He spoke directly to you. What was it like to see the greatest nation on earth fall at your hands so you can lead God’s people out of Egypt?”

Sean thought about it for awhile. “Tell me, Renee. I had to climb that mountain to speak with God or go into the Tent of Meeting to meet with Him. Tell me what it was like to have the Holy Spirit in you, speaking to you whenever you wanted Him to, to hear His voice telling you which direction to go when you hadn’t a clue? To have Him help you triumph over the enemies in your life on a daily basis?”

“OK Sean. What is your point?”

Sean picked up his Bible and turned to Romans 8. “I was reading this the other day. Romans 8:11 says, ‘But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.’ Those Old Testament saints saw some pretty amazing stuff but they didn’t have what we have, the Holy Spirit. They didn’t have the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They didn’t have imparted to them spiritual gifts from God.”

“So what you’re saying is that any conversation I start in heaven will turn around on me so what I think was impressive will pale in comparison to what those Old Testament saints think was impressive?”

“Well, more to the point, your life is more full then you think. What we read in Bible stories is a once in a lifetime experience. But in reality, we can have lifetime experiences every day. Perhaps those experiences won’t make it in the front pages of the newspaper but they are just as impressive and exciting to God as we think those Bible stories are.”

Renee waited a beat before responding.

“So when did you get to be so smart?”

“About the same time you learned how to cook.”

Currently on disability, Brian has been a pastor since graduating from San Diego Christian College in 1986 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies. In 1994, Brian earned a graduate level paralegal degree from the University of San Diego. Since 1984, he has been very active in the AWANA clubs serving as a commander, pastor and missionary advisory board member. Brian has worked on pastoral staffs of churches in Colorado and southern California. In 1997 he began a church in his home which currently meets in its own building located in Desert Hot Springs, California. A major hobby of Brian’s is cycling which includes two bike trips through Europe and a Canada to Mexico ride. Brian has been married to Beth, who he met in college, for over 26 years and they currently live in the Palm Springs area. They have two grown children.

 

Thinking of you, Mom. Really

Philippians 2:1-4 (NASB) – Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Sean was having a difficult time believing there was a recession going on as he bumped into the one millionth person at the local mall. People were everywhere. Sean was just trying to find something for Renee’s mom as a last minute Christmas present. And Renee was no help.

“Just pick something out from the heart,” she told him as she walked away humming some Christmas carol. What did that mean anyway? A new heart valve? Blood pressure medication? What???

Renee was playing that game again, trying to get Sean out of his comfort zone and to think beyond himself. Man he hated that. Why do wives think their husbands have to leave their “comfort zone?” Sean wanted to watch some football instead where real men were trying to reach the end-zone. That was the only “zone” he was thinking about on this Christmas Eve, as he bumped into the one millionth and one person of the day.

Even though he had walked the entire upper floor of the three story mall, and half of the second story, he knew he was going nowhere with this. He spied an elderly man getting up from one of the few benches that lined the walkway of the mall and Sean ran over to occupy the space left behind. He had to apologize to a few people in the process but he made it to the open bench just before another husband got there who had the same idea.

The other guy was loaded down with shopping bags from about half-a-dozen different mall stores and wasn’t as quick as Sean, being as heavy laden as he was. Sean didn’t have the heart to keep his newly acquired treasured seat so he got up and said to the stranger, “Just saving this for you, man.” Being grateful would have been an understatement as the burdened husband sat down and tried to arrange the avalanche of bags around himself. He thanked Sean profusely as Sean leaned against the railing of the walkway.

“My dogs are killing me! How about you?” he inquired of Sean. Sean really wasn’t looking for a new mall-buddy so he gave a short affirmative reply.

“It looks like you’re just getting started,” the man continued. “The wife and I have been here since the doors opened and I seriously believe there is no end in sight! Hey, my name is Tony.”

Now Sean was stuck for awhile and he knew it so he exchanged his name and told Tony his mission at the mall this fine day. “I haven’t got the foggiest idea what to get her,” Sean explained. “She’s not my mother. I rarely even get my own mother a Christmas gift. Somehow I got this feeling that my wife is punishing me for something bad I did but won’t tell me what it is because if I really loved her I would know!”

Tony chuckled and replied, “Been there, my friend, been there. Kym used to do that to me when we were first married. After a few years of that she realized I would never figure her out so she posted on our refrigerator this Bible verse from Philippians. Something about being of the same mind and having the same spirit. I told her that sounded real nice and all but how in the world can we have the same mind when she refused to tell me what I was doing wrong. So she made me memorize verses 3 and 4 of the second chapter. It goes like this:

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

“Sounds like something my wife would want me to memorize,” Sean commented. “So how did that work out for you?”

Some kid was bawling nearby so Tony had to wait a bit before responding.

“It took awhile but I began to realize that she wanted me to learn more about whom she is, her likes and dislikes, what moves her, things like that. In fact, it seems like even after all these years of being married I still have more to discover and learn about her. It’s like watching the discovery channel. Just when you think you knew everything there was to know about sharks, a new “Shark Week” comes on telling you new facts.”

“Does your wife know you refer to her as a shark?” Sean quipped.

“Hey, don’t get me in trouble!” Tony cried. “We just met!”

“Sorry, sorry. Just having some fun. That’s great and all, Tony, but I don’t think that’s going to help me pick out a Christmas gift for my mother-in-law that will meet with my wife’s approval.”

Tony thought for a beat and said, “Well, didn’t Paul also write in First Corinthians that:

 “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

I have a feeling that no matter what you decide on, it will please your wife. Look how much you’re struggling. That shows me that you care.”

“I don’t know if it is that I care so much. I think I’m doing this more out of fear than anything else.”

Tony looked up and saw his wife coming over to him with more bags of goodies. He said, “Can’t help you there pal. Perhaps it’s not so much about pleasing your wife as it is about pleasing your mother-in-law; if pleasing any mother-in-law is possible! Or better yet, it could be about loving your mother-in-law.”

Sean laughed but didn’t feel any better. Soon Tony’s wife had joined the pair and she had someone else in tow. She was pushing a small stroller with an infant on board. The child, however, was covered in tubes and wires. Sean was a bit shaken, not knowing what to say.

Tony saw his discomfort and said, “Hey Sean meet my wife, Kym, and our son, Jason.” Sean greeted Kym with a nod but he had trouble not staring at Jason. Before he could ask, Tony explained Jason’s medical condition. Most of the words went over Sean’s head but it was clear that this child had serious medical problems.

Kym fussed over Jason a bit while telling Sean how much of a blessing Jason had been to the entire family.

Blessing? Really? She can’t be serious. A few words came to Sean’s mind but blessing wasn’t one of them.

“Do you have any children, Sean?” Kym asked him.

“No, not yet.”

“You’ll know what I mean when you do. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”

Tony reassembled his shopping bags and stood up. “You can have your seat back Sean. Nice to have met you.”

“Same here,” was all Sean could manage. Tony’s family made their way down the mall as Sean sat down. He was still shaken by the unusual encounter he just experienced. The crowd, however, never dissipated as the never ending Christmas music blared over the speakers.

Sean had a lot to think about but only one thing came to mind. Seeing Jason reminded him of a girl he once knew back when he was a kid. He only saw her in church or Sunday School but everyone knew her. She was a lot like Jason only she could sit up in a wheel chair and could talk to you. And she only wanted to talk to you about Jesus. “Do you know Jesus?” she would ask everyone. Every week it was the same question, “Do you know Jesus?” And it didn’t matter if she had asked you this before. She just kept asking.

And she always wanted to sing the same song in Sunday School – Jesus Loves Me. She would sing by herself if no one else wanted to. Sean remembered, as he sat alone in the crowded and noisy mall, that she would sing Jesus Loves Me and recite John 3:16 every week.

Then it hit him as if his ears just popped open. “If I can remember so much about a little girl from my childhood, I’m sure I can remember at least one thing about Renee’s mom to buy her a gift that has some meaning.”

Shoppers nearby turned to look at the strange man sitting on the bench, in the mall, talking to himself, out loud, with no cell phone in sight.

Sean realized what Tony was trying to say. How does one get to know another person? By asking questions, through conversations – something that was very difficult for Sean – by just listening. Sean could remember that girl from his past because she shared her love for Jesus all the time. She wasn’t a freak. Maybe a Jesus freak, but not crazy like his classmates treated her. She was into Jesus 100%. She operated at a spiritual level that he could only hope to attain. To know this girl was to know Jesus, that’s how close she was to him.

To know Renee’s mom was just a matter of thinking back to not only who she is but also who Renee is. What are her interests?

“Bingo!” Sean shouted as he got up and hurried away with a new mission in mind. Well, the same mission, just a new plan to implement it.

As he went along the mall’s walkway he smiled as he bumped into other holiday shoppers, saying to himself, “one million two, one million three, one million four.”

Currently on disability, Brian has been a pastor since graduating from San Diego Christian College in 1986 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies. In 1994, Brian earned a graduate level paralegal degree from the University of San Diego. Since 1984, he has been very active in the AWANA clubs serving as a commander, pastor and missionary advisory board member. Brian has worked on pastoral staffs of churches in Colorado and southern California. In 1997 he began a church in his home which currently meets in its own building located in Desert Hot Springs, California. A major hobby of Brian’s is cycling which includes two bike trips through Europe and a Canada to Mexico ride. Brian has been married to Beth, who he met in college, for over 26 years and they currently live in the Palm Springs area. They have two grown children.

Good Scars and Bad Scars

Good Scars and Bad Scars (a true story)

Isaiah 43:1-3, 19 (NASB) – Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I will make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

Today is Thanksgiving and Sean and Renee are visiting Renee’s father and mother for dinner. After the meal and while everyone is picking up the dishes to clean the table, so that there will be plenty of room for dessert later, Renee notices something on her father’s hand.

“Dad, what’s that scar on your hand?”

“Oh, that?” Renee’s father replied.  “It’s from playing with that puppy we had when you and Graham were little. It’s too bad Graham had to work this weekend. We haven’t seen him in a while. Hey we should ‘Skype’ him later.”

“Wait. How did your dog leave a mark that noticeable?” asked Sean. “I thought it was just a small dog.”

“It was. A Scotty. But he had big teeth! And sharp too,” was Dad’s reply. “You see, I would get down on the floor with him and lay belly down like I was going to arm wrestle him. I would make my hand into a fist and he would try to get his small mouth around it. A few times he got a tooth caught on my skin but he was real careful not to bite down because I would let out a fake whimper – like he was hurting me – and he would stop because he thought he hurt me. Of course I would let him know that he didn’t hurt me by playing with him. But one time he drew blood and for some reason it was enough to leave a scar.

“Funny how you can cut yourself over and over again for years and not leave one scar. But the scar that stays is the one you get while having fun. I barely remember getting it.”

Dad sat down and reflected on the past for a bit. Sean, Renee and Mom joined him in the study with cups of coffee. While the four of them sat quietly for a time, Dad couldn’t stop thinking about the scar on his hand or about how it got there. He suddenly got up and walked over to the book shelf where the photo albums were kept. He pulled one out and found a picture of the little Scotty who caused the scar and handed the album to Sean and Renee.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT) – Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

While Renee cooed over the pictures of the family puppy, Dad continued at the book shelf looking for another album.

“You know, I have another scar that comes with a completely different type of story. The scar is on my back. I got it when I fell down the steps of a borrowed trailer we used to live in.”

Dad finally found the album he was looking for and sat down next to Sean. He opened up the album to the pages with pictures that showed a ratty looking trailer park. There were a few pictures of an old beat-up trailer with plastic lying on its top. There were also pictures of small children playing inside the trailer with various toys and stuffed animals.

Dad began his story, “These are pictures of a trailer we lived in when the kids were little. It was near a train track and every night a train would blow its horn at 2:00 a.m. and wake me up! And it seemed to rain almost every week. That wasn’t good because there were holes in the roof and the owner didn’t want to repair it. And beggars couldn’t be choosy. You see, we were homeless at the time.”

“What?!” exclaimed Sean. “Homeless?!”

“We were living in Arizona a few years before and barely making it. I had been looking for substantial work for almost two years when I found a job in California, not far from here. A national recession had just begun and within a year I was fired. But I wasn’t fired because of the recession. One co-worker had been jealous I got the job that she thought she was going to get. She started a long list of rumors against me that in the end cost me my job since it was a distraction to the owners. She could never prove the rumors true but the owners couldn’t believe that she would be lying to them. And I was the new guy.

“So here I was in a strange city with no job and a blemished record. I had moved my family three hundred miles for this job and now I’m out of work and wondering when I’ll get work due to the recession. But I did find a job for a short time but couldn’t hold on to it.

“Within a few weeks I found another job, which barely paid over minimum wage, so Mom had to start working just for us to make ends meet. But it still wasn’t enough. Then we found out that Mom was pregnant. Stress doesn’t begin to describe how we were feeling at this time.”

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

“Now with all this happening, our only car died! We had to borrow a small car from a friend of ours just so we could get back and forth to work. But that’s not all. Our baby miscarried.”

Mom looked away and Renee walked over to where Mom was sitting and gave her a hug.

“Not only did we have to deal with the loss of our third child, but when leaving the hospital, they handed us their bill. We didn’t have health insurance and we didn’t have any money to pay this hospital bill,” Mom said through her tears.

Dad continued, “To add insult to injury, Mom lost her wedding ring while washing dishes and that charming little Scotty dog ran off and was never found. We couldn’t pay our rent any longer and started living in a borrowed motor home parked on the back lot of a church – a small motor home at that.

“I was working the night shift fulltime at a retail store. Mom was working at a daycare during the afternoon and the graveyard shift at a restaurant after I got off of work. We barely saw each other during the week. We were just barely making financially too. One night at a hospital is not cheap.”

Sean was greatly shaken up hearing this tragedy being laid out before him for the first time.

“Within a month’s time we had lost a child, I lost a well paying job, lost our house, lost our only car, lost Mom’s wedding ring and our dog ran away! We were homeless and I felt useless.”

Psalm 38:4 (NKJV) – For my iniquities have gone over my head; Like a heavy burden they are too heavy for me.

“For the first time since becoming a Christian I hated God. I began to sin in ways I’ve never done before. I saw life as a victim and I became bitter toward God and others. It was like I was a little kid hitting God with both my fists in complete rage. Life is not fair so why should I live for Jesus anymore. He obviously left me alone at the time I needed Him the most so I will just ignore Him from now on.”

Romans 8:1-2 (NASB) – Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

Psalm 103:10-12 (NASB) – He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

There was a pause as Dad took a breath and let that sink in. Renee hadn’t heard this part of the story and was in tears as she heard the heavy voice of her father continue.

“Pretty stupid, uh?”

“Not sure how I would have handled that situation,” Sean weakly commented.

“Exactly. That is what life is about. When it looks like your world is falling apart, how will you respond? It took us awhile to realize God was not testing us beyond what we could handle. Yeah, life was tough but look how God was providing.”

Psalm 68:19 (NASB) – Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation.

“After I confessed my sin of having a horrible attitude and lack of faith, I started counting my blessings like the song says. I was working and so was Mom. And our jobs made it so one of us could always be with the kids so they were not being raised by some unknown childcare worker or babysitter. We did have a roof over our heads. Although the roof of the trailer leaked, it was a roof and It had plastic to cover up the leaks. And we had a car provided to us. God provided friends at the right time to meet needs we could not.”

Gal 6:2 (NASB) – Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

“Now we had to eventually return the trailer and car but for the time we had them they were a blessing. And within a short time my job led us to move to another city where I was promoted. Soon after, Mom ran into an old friend when she was visiting my new store and was offered a great job that meant she didn’t have to work two jobs any more.

“Not long after that someone came to my store to specifically ask me to work for his company. With these new jobs we were able to move into a nice apartment, with no leaks in the roof, and buy a new car.”

Psalm 55:22 (NIV) – Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

“Now when I look at the scar on my hand I remember a good time in my life, therefore, it is a good scar. It is on my hand which I can look at any time because it is before me. But the scar on my back I cannot see. It is still there, however, but I have to reach behind my back and feel for it in order to find it. It reminds me of a bad time in my life; therefore, it is a bad scar. But it is on my back. It is behind me. Just like the bad times when I got the scar – they are behind me.”

Philippians 3:13b-14 (NASB) – but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Dad stood up and put the photo albums back on the shelf. As he stood beside the book shelf, he thought to himself for a beat and then said, “It can be very hard for people to think back on terrible moments in their lives, like the one I just described, and not become ashamed at how they initially handled it. The Bible says that God forgives and forgets our sins after we confess them to Him but we tend to remember them for quite some time if not forever. But we better not dwell on them. Just like we did tonight we can take out the album from the shelf and look at it for awhile but we then place it back on the shelf and walk away. And in the future we’ll look at it every once and awhile but we won’t leave it open on the coffee table for us to constantly look at. It’s just a small part of the library, not the center piece.”

Until He Returns

Currently on disability, Brian has been a pastor since graduating from San Diego Christian College in 1986 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies. In 1994, Brian earned a graduate level paralegal degree from the University of San Diego. Since 1984, he has been very active in the AWANA clubs serving as a commander, pastor and missionary advisory board member. Brian has worked on pastoral staffs of churches in Colorado and southern California. In 1997 he began a church in his home which currently meets in its own building located in Desert Hot Springs, California. A major hobby of Brian’s is cycling which includes two bike trips through Europe and a Canada to Mexico ride. Brian has been married to Beth, who he met in college, for over 26 years and they currently live in the Palm Springs area. They have two grown children.